Being integrated means being able to accept all aspects of one’s self. An integrated man is able to embrace everything that makes him unique: his power, his assertiveness, his courage, and his passion as well as his imperfections, his mistakes, and his dark side. (Location 340)
“If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always had.” (Location 762)
Just about everything a Nice Guy does is consciously or unconsciously calculated to gain someone’s approval or to avoid disapproval. (Location 782)
Nice Guys have a difficult time comprehending that in general, people are not drawn to perfection in others. People are drawn to shared interests, shared problems, and an individual’s life energy. (Location 916)
It is actually a person’s rough edges and human imperfections that give others something to connect with. (Location 920)
Beneath this facade of needlessness and wantlessness, all Nice Guys are actually extremely needy. Consequently, when they go about trying to get their needs met, Nice Guys are frequently indirect, unclear, manipulative, and controlling. (Location 1133)
Helpless, whiny, wimpy, and needy are not attractive on a man. Confidence and self-assurance are attractive. Most folks are attracted to men who have a sense of self. Putting the self first doesn’t drive people away, it attracts them. Putting the self first is essential for getting what one wants in love and life. (Location 1277)
kind of power not only successfully deals with problems, challenges and adversity, it actually welcomes them, meets them head on, and is thankful for them. Personal power isn’t the absence of fear. Even the most powerful people have fear. Personal power is the result of feeling fear, but not giving in to the fear. (Location 1394)
Surrender doesn’t mean giving up. It means letting go of what one can’t change and changing what one can. (Location 1420)
This frustration is due to the reality that, in general, women view men who try to please them as weak and hold these men in contempt. Most women do not want a man who tries to please them—they want a man who knows how to please himself. Women consistently share with me that they don’t want a passive, pleasing wimp. They want a man—someone with his balls still intact. (Location 1745)
