A dark cloud of grief fell upon Achilles as he listened. He filled both hands with dust from off the ground, and poured it over his head, disfiguring his comely face, and letting the refuse settle over his shirt so fair and new. He flung himself down all huge and hugely at full length, and tore his hair with his hands. The bondswomen whom Achilles and Patroclus had taken captive screamed aloud for grief, beating their breasts, and with their limbs failing them for sorrow. Antilochus bent over him the while, weeping and holding both his hands as he lay groaning for he feared that he might plunge a knife into his own throat. Then Achilles gave a loud cry and his mother heard him as she was sitting in the depths of the sea..
~ The Iliad - Book XVIII (Samuel Butler Translation. p130 / v22)
In Book 18 of The Iliad, Achilles is overwhelmed with despair and sorrow upon hearing of Patroclus’ death. He covers himself in dust, tears at his hair and cries out aloud. Other men around him also cry.
I found it surprising that in the hyper-masculine world of the Iliad, we see many instances of men crying publicly. Agamemnon, Hector, Phoenix, Patroclus, etc. It is a tale of valor but also of suffering and pain. But in modern times, a man crying publicly is frowned upon in most cultures. All the extra layers of sophistication make people hide away their true feelings and vulnerability, I guess. Why is that so? When did the change happen? Is the move towards a society where people cannot publicly grieve a good thing?